Do You Hear What I Hear?
Take a moment to reconsider the license to kill...

I was going to start this with one of those "can someone help me out here?" sort of phrases, implying that I wanted some sort of explanation for the events that I witnessed...

But it would've been untrue.

I don't need an explanation. I know what was happening.

I went to a show to see Ladytron in San Diego this time last week. They put on a helluva show...to me...I don't want to be responsible for anyone rushing out to pick up their albums based on my recommendation only to respond with the cry of "That ain't music!" (Try it with Generic Redneck Accent...it works better)....but I'm on the verge of digression. It was a good show...but it could've been better....but that was through no fault of the band.

We got there for the last few songs of the opening act. We weaved through the sparse crowd. We found a spot and planted our feet.

Therein lies the problem.

I should preface this with a little set-up. See, I never get to movies really early if I can help it, especially if it's just me. I don't show up late either, but I try to get there about the time most everyone has settled in. Then, I navigate to a spot where there are few or no people...and if I can't get away, I try to make choices based on who looks like they've got the potential to annoy the crap out of me. Big warning signs are things like cell phones in hand talking or testing...and I avoid anyone under the age of...say 25...like plague, espcially if there are more than two of them.

However, when I get there early, without fail, if there's a bunch of loudmouths, a dude with the bright light of his phone open the whole time, or whatever...they WILL find me.

No joke. I've put it to scientific test. (Lately, I've come to realize that it might not just me...but that there are purebred @$$holes everywhere now.)

Now...with the movies, I have a theory that home video viewing has led to this sort of inconsiderate "casualness" at the theater. Fifty years ago and before, going to the movies was a big experience that people dressed up for...now people treat the theater like a version of their own living room they don't have to clean up. Well...we could tie in the old theatrical bit of the "peanut gallery" and the lower classes behavior while watching plays as well...we've sort of come full circle.

In many cases, I'll go to the pricier theater, just because it thins the likelihood of this...but doesn't eliminate it.

Concerts, however, are a little different. They're louder. When there's no seats, there's a lot more movement. Alcohol is frequently involved. It's a little more interactive than having a story beamed at you on a large screen.

Oh...but most importantly...they usually cost a helluva lot more....AND...in many case, they're one time experiences, as you may never get to see that band ever again.

So back to Ladytron. The lights dim. The intro music pipes up. We're bracing for the goodness to come when were jostled aside by this slope browed neanderthal (I'm not just being mean, I have corroborators) and his two chicks. Ok, ok...whatever, we're at a show...it's not too packed...there's room for everyone. If it had ended there, I wouldn't have thought twice. The band takes the show, and we're on the go.

But for the first two songs caveman keeps dragging out his phone (which again, the light keeps catching my eye) and keeps talking or texting. When he's not doing that, he's leaning over yelling into one of the girl's ears. I can't understand him...but I can hear him as being discordant from the music. Then the phone. Then more yelling. I try yelling for him to shut the phone...but he can't hear me.

So eventually, I just tried to get far enough away from him...which sort of worked...except now the place has been filling up...and there's more press toward the stage. It helped...but I'm still catching this thing blinking on every now and again. And this went on for the whole show...(a few times the two girls left intermittently to answer phone calls...and they didn't look like doctors on call)...

Ok. So you say, he probably wasn't a fan or didn't care?

Not so, says I. He mouthed along to some of the songs while texting. But the weirdest part, at the closing of several songs, he's pumping his fist in the air all excited....but what I don't get...to me, he hasn't payed attention to the music since he's shown up.

Then I encounter my next mystery I've seen at too many shows...which managed to be wonderfully distracting. A dude dressed up in his nouveau-mod suit, with a trio of dolled up sluts has moved in behind me. They're very very very sauced...and getting worse as the show goes on. Oh...and they're dancing...well...they're flailing...but it was distinctly an approximation of dancing. It was on beat a few times anyhow.

And they got a little room to move...oh, but keep in mind, no one else is dancing and though we are on the floor there's no "pit" of any sort...so they're flailing, and though there's some room around them...yeah, they're all over my back.

The blond girl seemed to be especially fond of driving her squared off purse into the space between my shoulder blades when not boxing me on the arms with it. Sure I shoot them some dirty looks...but they're drunk and appear to be on the verge of passing out...they don't get it. Finally, I was able to ditch them for a while when blondie hits me with another surprising back jab with her sharp purse, and I throw back my shoulders which knocked her into her friends and well away from me.

Now this was a fairly low end show cost-wise...but when I've got to really big ticket expensive shows...I've never understood being this out of it (minus the obnoxiousness)...Why do you pay good money for something you're not going to remember? The really shocking one is when paramedics have to get involved which I've also seen more than a few times. I get it...and I don't get it.

What I wonder more than anything, is how do they always find me?

Although...like I said...I'm getting more and more convinced that they are rapidly becoming the majority. The weirdest part though is that if you do confront some loudmouth jack@$$ at a show or whatever, they act as though you're the rude one for infringing on their right to be obnoxious in places where other people paid good money to enjoy something without the unnecessary input. Especially in the last few years...where somehow 9/11 and the Iraq war have been alchemistically changed being an @$$hole into some sort of display of liberty and freedom.

But really...it's also the paying money for something you don't actually pay any attention to, and that you probably won't remember.

Seriously...I'm not looking for answers...but it's a basic illogic that seems to be more and more of the system now...

I just felt like saying something.

Cheers.