The Less Positive Use of the Expression 'Oh Boy'
Sometimes you can't make me feel sorry...

Now that I've written that little sub-header, it reminds me of a friend of mine who claimed that I never felt sorry for anything I did or said. But we'll get to that some other time.

I saw some new story the other day about some woman who is going on all these news reports and talk shows because of how ill she got after her cosmetic surgeon injected too much Botox into her face.

............?

You're gonna have to wait an awfully long time before I feel bad for this woman. A long time. A really, really, really long time. There's decent odds that you won't see it in this lifetime.

Likewise with botched cosmetic surgery.

Notice I said 'cosmetic' and not 'plastic.' If it's surgery to fix a body damaged by injury, fire, etc., then it flies with me. If it's because you don't like your nose...well, you take your chances like anyone else. I mean no one should be carved up wrong, but if it's done for vanity then you're not going to get much sympathy from me.

An analogy: I feel bad when a fireman gets burned up doing the job he's paid for, but I don't feel sorry for some circus sideshow daredevil who chose to put himself in the path of danger.

Or like a mentioned yesterday: Teeth whitening possibly leading to oral cancer.

That's what's funny about it: Botox is f*cking poison and people choose to inject themselves with it.

If I injected myself with bleach, and died from it. You wouldn't feel sorry for me. Right?

Think about it another way. I recall reading one of those weird facts columns in the newspaper, one of the ones near the crossword or the Jumble. Anyhow, it was about old practices in make-up. If you thought corsets are bad, keep in mind that ladies used to dust their chests with crushed white lead crystals to enhance their paleness. They were poisoning themselves of course, but I'm sure, for the time, they looked damned good. Right?

Now in this modern age, we look at that and think: 'They were so f*cking stupid. Why would they do that?'

Ok, but they didn't know that lead was that poisonous then (Hell, the Romans piped their drinking water through it); however, we knew Botox was poisonous before anyone started injecting it into their faces. Isn't that more stupid?

Another vanity fun fact is that many of the chemicals that are used to make nail polish aren't allowed in most landfills in the U.S. True, you don't fill a syringe and spike a vein with it. You do however put it onto the tips of your fingers. I don't know if you know but in addition to whatever soaks through your cuticles that you've chopped off (the cuticles seal off the space between your fingernails and you skin), on a microscopic level that same stuff is chipping off and going into your food and whatever else you touch. Lovely right?

And to think that people are so worried about bacteria. Why? Your probably poisoning the hell out of yourself right now.

As long as were on that chemical ingestion topic, here's another one: There was a study that begun inadvertently during the exhumation of the bodies in a cemetery. The phenomenon that was discovered and then studied in the move was that corpses from the past 50 years or so are decomposing at a much slower rate than corpes from times prior to that. The answer: All the preservatives and chemicals that we eat in our food coats our cells and keeps us as fresh as that Hostess Twinkie.

Then again, why do I bother to bring this up. It isn't like the discovery that nearly every artificial sweetner has been linked to cancer in one kind of laboratory animal or another has ever stopped people from swilling Diet Coke or Pepsi or whatever. The best part about that to me is all these new flavors they've been adding to it (vanilla, lemon, lime, etc.). I still look at that horrible stuff and think: 'Whoa man! Careful! Some of that's getting into your mouth!'

I also love the fact that not only do you poison yourselves, but then you turn around and blame the government for letting you poison yourself. As soon as your done with that, you use the courts to sue the company for poisoning you when they printed a warning, nice and bright and bold, on the outside of the box.

It's also why I'm tired of these 'Crazyworld' ads that are supposed to make people aware of the dangers of cigarettes.

Listen, if you're too f*cking stupid to realize that inhaling smoke isn't a healthy thing...um, you're probably too stupid to live. I'm not saying that cigarettes shouldn't be available and should be banned everywhere because I don't believe that. That's all about free choice and my belief that the government shouldn't have to protect you from yourself. Also, I've always looked at it this way: The Native Americans smoked tobacco, but they smoked it on special occasions over long periods of time. You can enjoy a cigar, a nice pipe, or even a cigarette every once in a blue moon. It's the pack-a-day habit that's ridiculous. Anyhow. It's also a direct cause and effect relationship. If I have a couple of smokes and the following day my chest feels like constricted burnt @$$....I know it's the f*cking cigarettes. I then notice that if I don't have any more of those smokes, then I don't feel that way anymore.

Hmmmm, next stop rocket science.

And yet, you'll notice, knowing it's bad for you doesn't stop people from doing it.

Let's face it, it's all about immediate consequences. People need those like they need instant gratification.

If it doesn't hurt me today, I can just do it until it eventually does.

Hell, I'm willing to bet that people would shoot guns off in their mouths if it wasn't guaranteed to kill them right away. (Which reminds me of when I first moved to Florida, and the big news story was about kids who were found dead huffing freon. I only wish that I've ever felt that bored and stupid...which brings me back to the top...)....

Referring to the story I just mentioned in the parentheses, I didn't feel sorry for those kids either. I didn't feel sorry for them one iota. I can kinda feel sorry for their parents for their kids killing themselves with their reckless irresponsibility. But then again what kind of home life could these kids have if they're bored enough to crawl into their airconditioning ducts to huff freon.

I also love seeing pregnant women in LA. I loved it ever since I read an article saying that between the contaminants in the air, water, etc. that you (male and female) should move out of town for at least a few months to detox before having kids. That is so great that they're bringing their future leukemia patient into being here in the city of angels.

These are the same people who I see who won't let their kids within fifty feet of a big dog despite the fact that that big dog would probably cover the kid enough dander and insect parts to keep the kid allergy free for life. You know that right? Having pets increasing the odds that your kids won't have allergies and a lot of illness because the animal's inherent 'dirtiness' boosts the kids immune systems. That in addition to the fact that we seem bent on raising a generation of sissies who won't be able to defend themselves from the real world either.

Holy sweatsuits, Batman! I could go on about this for days. I'm not going to right now, but I easily could.

Right now. I'm leaving.

Cheers.