Thursday, April 07, 2011

Hide Your Wife...

Centaurs...always running off with people's wives. Nessus ran off with Deianeira. To those of you who only know Hercules from Steve Reeves or...ahem...Lou Ferigno, Deianeira was Herc's main squeeze. Naturally, Herc shot Nessus with an arrow as he ran off with her across a river. While dying, Nessus told Deianeira to take some of his blood, and to give it to Herc if she ever thought he was being unfaithful. Well, bright girl that she was, she later smeared it all over one of Herc's robes...and only after sending him off did she notice that the blood caught fire when hit by the sun. Herc, of course, not one to go down without a fight, tried to put out the flames, jumped in the water (which only made it worse), and tried to rip it off...taking his skin and organs with it. Before dying, he tossed the servant that gave him the robe into the sea.

The Moral of the Story: Don't use centaur's blood as sunscreen unless you want your husband anything above medium rare.

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