The Not So Friendly Visitors
The "wacky" quotient is riding high...

It's not easy to convince people that watching movies is research. I'll at least claim that it's half-and-half. It isn't as though I'm going to watch a movie that I won't enjoy as part of my research. Then again, that's beginning to encroach on the territory of what makes a good movie, a bad movie, and a good bad movie. I didn't come here to go over all that again. The movie I watched was supposed to be research of sorts...but, I confess, I had wanted to see it for a long time.

You see, I've sent my novel off to a friend of mine who's going to give it the old once-over. I'm hoping it takes him quite some time, as I have little interest in looking at it for a while to come. In the meantime, progress should march on. I'm particularly bent on trying to write a second one (without knowing whether the first is worth a crap) before the end of the year. Well, perhaps not finish it by then, but at least have something under way. So I've been attempting to study certain genre structures and devices.

Here's the part where we get to my review, but believe you me, you won't be able to figure out the story I want to tell based on this review.

The Mysterians (1957, d. Ishiro Honda)

The Plot: After a series of bizarre natural disasters, scientists discover that an alien race from a destroyed planet are attempting to settle on Earth. The aliens have two requests: a two mile radius tract of land, and the right to breed with Earth women. Needless to say, the human race won't stand for that and so war begins between the humans and the space age weapons of the invaders.

The Review: A few months ago, I went to see the re-release of the original Godzilla. It was a restored print with a Japanese language track and no Raymond Burr. Sure it had become more than just a little silly in places over time (like the photo of the Big G over the mountains that's obviously a painting), but it was still shocking how grim and serious it was. I doubt anyone on Earth understands how seriously to take atomic weaponry than the Japanese. Nowadays Godzilla, himself, is hard to take seriously, but early on he put an appropriate dragon face of horror on atomic nightmares that no mushroom cloud could.

I mention Godzilla for two reasons that are both connected. For one, The Mysterians and the first Godzilla film share the same director. Second, that first Godzilla film set up the formula for nearly every giant monster movie to follow as well as a lion's share of Japanese science fiction films. It breaks down like this: 1) the threat arrives and humanity's confused, 2) the first attempt is made to stop the threat which ends in humanity getting its collective @$$ handed to it, and 3) humanity figures out some new fangled kooky way of attacking and wins the day. Somewhere along the line there's a love story, and very often there's a misunderstood scientist or child who somehow figures in the finale. The formula doesn't vary much, although certainly in the chain of sequels, the title monster begins to have a hand in stopping the new threat.

Now, even though I've brought up the giant monsters and this film is often listed in that category, it only resembles them in terms of story line. Certainly, you see a couple of giant robots (who have a striking resemblance to Gonzo of Muppet fame), but not for very long. Most of the destructive attacks center around a large stationary globe that acts as the Mysterians base. A large glowing globe that doesn't move could hardly be mistaken for a giant monster like...say Guiron, who had a giant knife shaped head. Guiron is definitely a giant monster. Nonetheless, the plot of this film still does strongly resemble that of the giant monster film, except in one important area (other than the monster...sorry about that). It lacks the emotional core most of those films had.

In the original Godzilla, you got to know and care about the people trying to stop the monster's tirade. It had a hint of a love story, a love triangle in fact. In the midst of disaster, it wasn't merely a screaming faceless mob, but they took time to at least give you a touch of humanity in the crowd. For instance, in the original Gamera film, there's the moment amidst the destruction when Gamera stops and saves a boy's life. Sure it's hokey, but it puts a face to the destruction. The Mysterians, on the other hand, spends more time trying to wow it's audience. Unfortunately, that lets it down in more ways than one.

For one, if you didn't grow up with this kind of movie or haven't developed a taste for miniature efx extravaganzas, then you're likely to not care for this movie right off the bat. Then again, you may enjoy it, but likely that'll be because you'll spend the hour and a half laughing at it. To the trained eye or those who love this stuff however, the filmmakers did manage to pull off some amazing stuff. One matte shot in particular of a live action man leaping from a minature tank as it is sucked into the ground is impressively effective. Not only that, there is a lot of fun and priceless silliness to the design of the various ships and what have. The problem is that there is just too much of it all the time, but it's never fascinating enough to overshadow the fact that the story is paper thin. The eighteenth Godzilla movie can be paper thin, but not the first.

To be honest, and maybe it was just the subtitles, but I don't think I knew a single characters name by the end. Now when the one character makes the ultimate sacrifice to save everyone, it usually means more when you know what his name is. It wasn't so much the name in some ways as it was the fact that I spent more screen time with the exterior of the Mysterians base than I did with that character.

Don't get me wrong though. As usual, though I tear into the movie, I had a good time watching it. It was ok...and what bothered me is that it could've been great. It could've been the Citizen Kane of alien invasion movies. It had all the right elements. Giant Gonzo Robots. Melting Tanks. Damsels in distress. And a squadron of aliens dressed in capes and motorcycle helmets. Like I said, the miniature work was a lot of fun, and well done. I enjoyed watching it, but it got to the point where my trigger finger was getting ready to start fast forwarding through it.

This is the kind of movie I would like to remake. The problem is that most people would want to jazz it up too much and miss the point (ie. The Thunderbirds movie sans puppets), or you make it too kitschy and retro and it becomes utterly trite. So I think it's best to...I don't know...ummm...leave it alone. If only everyone would take that cue.

Cheers.